Reverie.

    I've always been of the opinion that when someone does not know how to begin a writing or conversation, they should begin by simply stating that fact. Really it is the first sentence that trips you up. You could also visit a friendly thesaurus and start off randomly with an interesting word. I'll have to keep that in mind for future. So, having begun my writing, I will continue to my point.

    Tonight marked the end of my high school experience. Our little (though perhaps not as little as it once was) home school group put together it's usual 'end of the semester' presentation. However, this semester was different. This year we had three Seniors, Ethan, Trevor and myself. Oh man. Being a Senior and saying goodbye to the rest of the class was not nearly as bad as having fellow Seniors to bid farewell. I can't express how much I've loved seeing these guys, and everyone else in my classes every Tuesday for so long. Of course for many of us graduating does not necessarily mean goodbye, rather, 'I'll see you later for coffee' or 'don't forget about volleyball next week!' Thank goodness. This blog is meant to transfer my thoughts from my head to the page, right?
My thoughts[feelings]:
    Relief: It's over. High school is a thing of the past; I can now move on to college and receive a new level of respect from society in lieu of my accomplishment.
    Lostness: What now. Of course I have a plan, but I am skeptical of the number of people who have actually done exactly what they assumed they would out of high school. Lord willing, I will be ready for whatever falls onto my path and whatever goals I go out to meet head on. As I intend to.
    Wanderlust: I do, I crave travel. I want to see the world, taste exotic foods, meet people who belong to different cultures, mindsets and traditions. I want to experience the vastness of this wonderfully broken world, and hopefully, with God's help, do a bit of fixing... I also want to bring my ukulele. God had it all planned out when He got me interested in such a tiny instrument.    
    Reminiscence: What an amazing childhood I've had. Oh how full it is of wonderful and enriching memories. How can I ever thank my Parents for everything they've done for me? Everything I know they will continue to do for me? Their love and support is not the sort of thing you can measure or compare, all I can say is, they have loved me better and longer than anyone but my Lord. And that is saying a lot.
    Those are four feelings accompanied with many thoughts, though those thoughts don't even scratch the surface of what I'm thinking, nor do the feelings capture what I'm feeling. Words aren't always enough. I believe in Heaven there will be a way to express the inexpressible. Perhaps it will be like a language, something which must be learned. Perhaps it will just be something we know and feel, just more clearly than here on Earth. I have no reason to believe this other than knowing that God loves knowledge. Which makes sense as He did create all knowledge and is the Knower and Observer of all. (shout out to Jason, my awesome youth leader).
    One last facet of my current state. Reverie. This word has so many meanings and I'd say they all apply. Dreaming and imagining my future, looking back on my past. All of it. I do think, at this moment in time, I am quite lost in a reverie of my future.